Ten More Things to Say to Emo Kids (Myspace Edition)
By Steve Kendall
• There is no need for you to have more than one video on your page......I have no witty comment for this, its common sense
• Your background should not be flashing.........I really don’t need to have a seizure when I stumble across your page
• Those hot girls that you put on your “Top 8” aren’t interested in you; they are porn stars trying to advertise. Aww did you think that live web cam feed was just for you?
• Can we possibly see your face in one of your pictures........or are you all really that ugly?
• I know I grew up in the 90’s, I know I’m from New York, Tom isn’t shutting down Myspace, and the Banzai Kittens were a hoax....stop sending me bulletins saying these things.
• Daily blogs about how depressed and alone you are......leave your status at single and looking for relationships, if someone likes you they will talk to you.
• Do not represent everything on your page with a picture. Having 30 movies on your list represented by their posters is annoying and crashes people’s computers.
• Stop putting “Not Sure” on your sexual preferences....just admit you are gay and get over it.
• Blogs with song lyrics are completely unnecessary...seriously if you love the song so much put it on your page
• If you are going to kill yourself, do not post it in a bulletin. You will become a huge joke just like Joshua “you BROKE my LIFE” Ballard. (check it out at http://myspacide.ytmnd.com/)